How To Stop Overthinking
If you tend to overthink, you probably know the feeling well. You keep replaying the conversation you had earlier. You wonder if you said the wrong thing. You think through every possible outcome of a decision. You try to figure out what someone really meant by that text. Then, just when you think you've finally reached an answer, another “what if?” pops up. And suddenly, you're back at it.
Okay so how do I stop overthinking?
You can't, and don't need to, stop yourself from having thoughts. Your brain is going to think. That's its job. The goal is to learn how to stop getting pulled into every thought and recognize when thinking has stopped being helpful and has started to keep you stuck in a loop of anxiety.
Why do I overthink so much?
Overthinking often feels like problem-solving. But there’s a difference between thinking something through and thinking in circles. Helpful thinking usually leads somewhere, like a decision, a solution, a next step, or something learned. Overthinking tends to keep you in the same place over and over again.
Overthinking often goes hand-in-hand with anxiety and can give you a false sense that you're doing something helpful about your anxiety. But more thinking doesn't always create more certainty which we crave during times of anxiety. Unfortunately, life doesn't come with a guarantee that everything will work out exactly the way you'd like (or plan in your head). That means learning to manage overthinking often involves learning to tolerate uncertainty, rather than trying to eliminate it.
So what can I do?
Notice when thinking becomes overthinking
The first step is to become aware of the pattern. Ask yourself, “Am I actually figuring something out, or am I going over the same thing again and again?” You might be overthinking if…
- You’re asking the same questions repeatedly without getting anywhere
- You’re trying to predict every possible outcome
- You keep replaying something that has already happened
- You’re researching something over and over because you don’t feel certain enough
- You’re thinking is making you feel more anxious rather than helping you to feel clearer
If this sounds like you, try gently saying to yourself, “I'm getting caught in the loop again.” That little bit of awareness creates space between you and the thought.
Stop treating every thought like a problem
Not every thought needs your attention. When an anxious thought pops up, you don't have to analyze it, figure it out, or convince yourself that everything is okay. Sometimes, the most helpful thing you can do is notice the thought and let it pass.
Worrying thoughts aren't bad or something you need to get rid of. But you don't have to engage with every worry either. The more you practice letting thoughts be there without trying to solve them, the less power they can have over your day.
Ask yourself, “What do I actually know?”
Overthinking often fills in the blanks, so try separating facts from assumptions. Ask yourself:
“What do I know for sure?”
”What am I assuming?”
“What am I predicting?”
“Is there another possible explanation?”
You don't have to replace a negative thought with an unrealistically positive one. You simply want to make room for a more balanced/neutral perspective.
Stop trying to predict every possible outcome
Overthinking and perfectionism often feed each other. If you believe you need to make the right decision, say the right thing, or do something the right way, you're going to spend a lot of time analyzing your choices. Sometimes the best way to challenge this isn't to think differently, it's to practice doing something differently. This one might feel uncomfortable, but try…
- Sending the email without re-reading it five times
- Making a decision without researching every option
- Leaving something slightly imperfect
- Letting someone misunderstand you without immediately trying to correct them
The lesson here is learning to tolerate the discomfort of not doing everything perfectly (because quite frankly, humans aren’t meant to be perfect).
Give your brain somewhere else to go
Sometimes you just need to step out of your head and back into your life. Take a walk. Take a shower. Cook something. Call a friend. Go to the gym. Fold laundry. Sit outside. Put your phone down and be present. This isn't about avoiding uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, it’s strengthening your ability to redirect your attention when thinking has become repetitive and unproductive.
Learn to live with “I don’t know”
This may be the hardest, and most important, part of reducing overthinking. You may never know exactly what someone meant. You may not know whether you made the best decision. You may not know how a situation will turn out. You may not know whether everything will work out the way you want it to. And that's uncomfortable. But “I don't know” doesn't have to mean “something is wrong.” Try practicing these self-reminders:
“I don’t know yet.”
“I don’t have enough information and that’s okay.”
“I’ll make the best decision I can with what I know.”
“Things may not go perfectly, and I can handle it if they don’t.”
The goal isn't to convince yourself that nothing bad will ever happen. It's to build confidence in your ability to handle whatever uncertainty comes your way.
If there's one thing I want you to take away from this, it's this: You don't have to get rid of your thoughts to feel better. The goal isn't to become someone who never worries or second-guesses themselves (again, you’re only human). It's to become someone who can notice the thought, decide whether it deserves your attention, and keep moving forward, even when you don't have all the answers.
About Balanced MI, LLC
Balanced MI, LLC is a private practice offering virtual mental health therapy for adults across Michigan. We specialize in treating anxiety, depression, stress, self-esteem, and navigating life transitions. Through compassionate, evidence-based therapy and practical strategies, Balanced MI helps individuals build healthier coping skills, improve emotional wellbeing, and create meaningful, lasting change.
